Mean bitch is me

Hello!

I realised I am so mean to my ex. Okay, i still got feelings for him though but it is just that I dont feel like being with him again in the future.

He doesnt understands that I do get jealous easily, just that I dont mentioned it so I dont seems like a nuisance. Yes, I dont mind when he text any girls as long as he told me about it. I just dont like when he did that even in front of me, despite the fact that I am no longer with him but I still got feelings for him.

I know all his flaws, but what's the use? I am willing to accept it but if he doesnt accept me then what is the use of the flaws?

I dont want to complain about him, I am just contradicting myself. :/

Bitchy meee

Hello people.

I finally got enlightened. I realised everything isn't just worth it, and this includes me giving up things for him.

I tried to think that he was worth it. Yes, i was deeply in love with him because he made me feel that he is worth it. But now? Sorry uh, pathetic fellow, no. You just aren't worth my effort, waiting for you like an idiot. There will never be the day when you would turn back for me. I knew it because you just treat me like your stepping board. Probably you had no one to be in love with and thus you chose me. I am just an alternative choice for you. I loved you, you toyes me. 

Your words that once meant a lot of things to me. Right now, they meant rubbish to me. I know your actions behind my back, i just took it down. Things got more and more absurd, i cant take it lying down. I just had to realise that things doesnt go in my way. I tried t turn a blind eye to everything but this doesnt mean that i know nothing.

Whatever it is, everything is over. I had my friends and your friends are all going away from youuuuu~ KARMA MUCH.

My choice

Hello, everyone.

I had decided to let him down for now. I did not want to continue t pester him and be an annoyance. I would sit by and wait quietly till the day I would finished my major exams and tell him, how much I would love to overcome all the obstacles with him.

Many had told me that he isn't worth my love but he is the one who gave me his love when I need someone to care about me, dote on me and never let me feel that I am alone.

I love him but I prefer him to be happy than to be tied up in a relationship. I can see that he is being really happy right now, with all his friends. I can too, walk pass all these by myself together with my friends. They had gave me many support.

2013 might not be a good year but is a year where I had learnt the most things. Love doesn't need to be own, feeling it is enough.

你曾经告诉我，爱情是经得起时间的考验，那么希望我们的爱情也能经得起时间这个考验。我们的难关，过了一个，还有许多个。希望你不会放弃。♥

My choice

Hello, everyone.

I had decided to let him down for now. I did not want to continue t pester him and be an annoyance. I would sit by and wait quietly till the day I would finished my major exams and tell him, how much I would love to overcome all the obstacles with him.

Many had told me that he isn't worth my love but he is the one who gave me his love when I need someone to care about me, dote on me and never let me feel that I am alone.

I love him but I prefer him to be happy than to be tied up in a relationship. I can see that he is being really happy right now, with all his friends. I can too, walk pass all these by myself together with my friends. They had gave me many support.

2013 might not be a good year but is a year where I had learnt the most things. Love doesn't need to be own, feeling it is enough.

你曾经告诉我，爱情是经得起时间的考验，那么希望我们的爱情也能经得起时间这个考验。我们的难关，过了一个，还有许多个。希望你不会放弃。♥

I can sacrifice everything, just to have you

Hello everyone.

I think for those who are actually read my blog would know that I am attached but now we are at the brink.

Im attached to my current boyf on 24/02/2013.

We are arguing for a reason that we had already lost a cause for arguing. I just want him to know through this post.

Baby, i dont want to force you to make a decision between us but do you really think that what we are doing now is the best for both of us? It might lead to a silent break but i dont want t give up on this relationship. My relationships in the past, i had never been serious after my last true relationship in 2009? It had been so long. I am afraid t be in love, afraid t be in a relationship with someone i love so badly, i want so badly. I am afraid t be hurt, i am afraid t be left alone again, crying t myself every night and swearing not to go into a real relationship again. You gave me hope in our relationship, but why are you leaving me only now? I wanted t cry, and till now, i am crying every night. I see your face, i see myself smiling. However, your back view gave me a sense of coldness youre treating me right now, and you make me cried. I love t see how happy you are because if you are happy, i am.

You are the one who i truly wants t be with, you made me feel secure w you around. I am positive that you can protect me, and you had always treated me very good. I was in a dilemma, being in this relationship, did i make the wrong decision? Am i not supposed t accept your love? What you said about me is right, i am indeed demanding. I only want you  t be w me and only me.

Youre the only one i want t say i love you to every single day.

For the last time (maybe), baby, i love you till the day i can finally let you down.

Why did i even bothered?

Crying to sleep everyday might be really an option for me. I dont know what t do or how should i react?

You are all so sweet and made me fell in love w you and when you asked t be in a relationship, i agreed. After that, i dont know. Now im all.lost, alone, unsure, confused and felt everything is my fault. Why did i even let this happened? I know i am a very emotional girl, i break down easily and is often uncontrollable. I tried t put in effort t salvage. Your coldness towards me kept is like increasing.

Im really really upset. :(

NsriIt's hard to pretend

Hello, everyone!!!

It had been long ever since I had updated, probably a month ago. The school had been ridiculously busy, ending school at 5-6 mostly and only able t reach home at 7 for dinner. Homework was done till midnight, if it wasnt for the case that i have no certificate, i wouldnt had put in effort. I want t give up, but putting in 10 years of life studying then giving up w/o a certificate, it is just not worth it at all. Im not someone who can cope w stress, i give up w stress pressurising on me unknowingly.

Good news btw! Maybe im falling in love but then still, i got the fucking o level to work hard for. :(

Keep it aside, if things go well. It would be :)