Friend, are you my friend?

Hello. :)

Life couldn't lead in the way as we wanted it to. I always the ending party who lose out to everyone. I'm not sure why, but I'm the one always ended up w no friends... Is it my attitude problem, or is it that I am in the lonely island, for now and ever? It just seems that when we hang out as a clique, I could never blend into them... Sigh, I think there is always some dissatisfaction here and there, but I'm not sure why am I always unable to hang out in a group... Maybe I am more attention-seeking type of person, I need all the attention to myself, if I don't have all the attention, I might even don't have? It really doesn't make a great difference to me. I'm not sure, but everything that people had done, definitely affected me here and there. It just seems that everyone couldn't sense it. Am I over-sensitive? I'm not sure, but for what I know, I can't blend into a group... Is it my attitude that has the problem? Hmmm..., maybe I have to reflect. But for now, I wouldn't bother to care. It's like I know you treat me as friend, but everyone can see that our relationship is fading away. You're the only one who couldn't sense it, and yet I am sensing it too much. I really don't know how to keep up w your pace and this is why I decided to give up. I really rather give up everything than to hold onto it and never let go, leaving myself in torture. It is time for me to learn how the life would be like w/o any friends..., maybe close friends. I do have friends but none as close to me. Am I that hard to understand?