I remembered times when I was in sec 1 where I am really rebellious. I was staying at my granny's house and refused to study and wanted to go home every single day. I was not allowed to do lots of things when I'm there. The feelings sucks, especially when I have to use the comp sneakily and everything. I'm actually glad that I moved home right now. Okay, I was really smoking and refusing to listen to my parents' advice. I'm glad I had quit smoking right now. However, there's times where my parents would not trust me just because of my past. They do not believed in me that I had changed for the better. Well, it's up to them to believe or not since I don't really give much damn to it. There are times where it would really hurt me a lot, because there is no trust between my parents and I. It makes me feel like it's just a place for me to sleep in, and not a place for me to actually relax. I sometimes think that why my parents can't be as understanding as other parents? It's okay for my parents to be strict, as long as they truly understands me and put in effort to do so. I want my parents to care about me through heart to heart talk, not through ransacking my stuffs. I remembered when I was in primary 3, I actually locked up my bag with my diary inside, just to prevent my parents and brothers from reading it. Sigh, just thinking back. I think I was kinda cute in the past. I remembered slacking with Clara they all somewhere near Bukit Merah Library's playground and gossiping XP. We had fun, but it all ended when we are in different secondary school. Well, people changes and so do I. I changed for the worst and changed for the better after that. I still remembered times where I hang out with Annabelle they all, and even though I still do now, but it's just a total different feeling. We had all grown up and changed. Our sneaky acts in the past, all the prank calls about dating agency, we hard so much childish fun together, just wished it could always be like these. A stress free children world where we don't need to grow up at all. I hanged out with Claudia and friends, (sounds like Barney and friends XP) and then we smoked and crapped together. All ended as soon as I stopped smoking and got warned by dad, (dafuq much), and then Claudia transferred out of the school. I started to quit smoking which isn't that easy, super a lot of determination and lots of money wasted on sweets, have to tolerate all the temptation. But it's all over now. I remembered failing all my tests, exams and not handing in homework, being chased out of class. I think the worst time was being chased out by my Maths/English teacher in sec 1/2 for one whole term. After that, hanged out with the guys, until one of them dropped out of school. Sigh, it seems that all my friends are broken into pieces and I seems to be missing from them. Unlike the past, I would be showing attitude to everyone that I don't like. Right now, I learnt to control my temper. There's time where I might be wrong as well, I should listened to others. After all, I made so many wrong decision...
I managed to make a U-turn in time, and I'm grateful to those that really helped me live through the whole period, especially Jady. Despite the fact that she isn't pretty, skinny or those really caring people, she showed her care towards me in a different way. She supported me when I was in primary school, and when I'm in secondary school, kicking my smoking habits and times where I broke up with my boyfs, she's always by my side and supporting me. She made jokes and tried to make me laugh. She might not be the girl that everyone like, but she will always be my babygirl :)
Jane, someone who always wanted to be someone who managed to change me, but alas, she isn't one yet. I know she will be somewhere in my life in the future, holding a very important place in my heart. Jane, I know right now, you're facing a relationship problem with Wei Guang, I hope everything will work out for you. Alright? Stay strong. :)
There's always a time where you can U-turn and change your life and future. However, it all depends on you. Good luck for those who are in the toughest part of the current life, it will all work out with determination :)
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