Without you by my side, I'm nothing.

Hello, people. :)

I know I cant even handle my own relationships.properly but put that aside, I wanna type something for my own rantings.

I hadn't shed tears for many days even when my heart really hurts so badly. Let's just use "unknown" because I don't want things to get too known because this isn't a private blog.
I cried yesterday and this made me sounds weak and right in front of people that I'm not really close with. I'm a weak girl but I really didn't want things to be in this way. Unknown scolded me for the things he didn't asked me to do and yet I'm the one at fault. Seriously, he never even tell me then he said he did and scolded me. Luckily, someone witness it but no one rebutt unknown, like obviously. I did not do things willingly and thus, I wouldn't do it seriously since I am not even interested in it, how to show interest?! Unknown scolded me twice in a row in 2 days and he scolded me for things I didn't do. Seriously?! Who can take this lying, man?! Never mind, I just had a very bad start of 2013, and I think it's just a bad year.

I screwed up all my friendships. I don't like people to pin-point me that I am at fault even if I am. I took the initiative because I bothered to. I wanted to say sorry to someone very much, and another one who I wouldn't have the chance anymore.

Never mind, let's talk about the person that I can't leave without.
I actually wanted to call you and confess to you that I love you so much and didn't want you to leave me because I really really love you. I held back because I don't dare to face the truth. I scared that I would be rejected by you if I did confess because I'm not your type at all. I don't know, maybe you hate me and had forgotten about me because I drove you so mad that you didn't want to know anything and want to forget everything about the memory we once shared. Can I cry out loud? I really want you to love me and tell me that you actually cared about me and want me to be with you. I am afraid, I don't want to take out the first step because I want you to do so. If I can, I confirm will take the first step. I hinted before to you about what I want, would you remember it?

That's all, I don't want to say any more because I really afraid that I will cry again.